How much is too much?: The story of the high school dances
February 25, 2009
An editorial by Jenn Tate
Hopkinton High School will be having another dance this Friday, February 27. For many students, these dances are a great reason to get together with friends and socialize on the weekends. Since we have been attending dances for many years now, we sometimes forget how they have changed over time.
           Back in seventh grade, many students went to their first middle school dances. In preparation for the event, girls got ready together by picking out the perfect ensemble, doing their makeup, and trying to make their hair look perfect. Then, they all came together and found the rest of their friends on the dance floor, more commonly referred to as the school gym. Meanwhile, some boys tried to look nice, and others came wearing the same outfit they had worn to school. When they arrived at the dance, some boys danced and socialized. Others ate pizza and sat at the lunch tables outside the gym. Though the process may have varied a little in eighth grade, it was basically the same routine.
           As freshman at the high school, we walked down the stairs and into a completely different environment. All of a sudden, we found ourselves immersed in a high school dance for the first time, which was a completely different experience. Aside from the obvious differences in surroundings, such as the windows that slowly fogged up as the dance progressed and the groups of people outside hoping to escape the heat, there were differences in the kind of dancing as well. Close dancing (or what some would call inappropriate behavior) such as “grinding†was everywhere. Everywhere you looked, people were kissing, bumping into each other, and students being swallowed by a sort of mosh pit that would always get broken up by teachers. Often it would be awkward as you tried to make your way through the crowd of people on the dance floor because of students who acted differently than they normally would at school. Occasionally, you would see or hear about someone being caught under the influence of alcohol. It wasn’t that there wasn’t any of this at the middle school, but just that the high schoolers took it to a degree neither seen nor allowed at the middle school.
           Now with a couple of school dances under the belt, I ask you this: How much is too much at the dances? Now, I am certainly not saying that I think we should enforce a rule stating that all people must be a foot away from each other, but rather this: How far can students go before it becomes inappropriate behavior? To me, close dancing is not a problem. What is a problem is when people act so inappropriate that you feel uncomfortable being around them, and you move to another spot on the floor. I do not think I have the exact answer for what should and should not be acceptable but I present you with the question to answer for yourself.
Craig M • Oct 8, 2009 at 4:49 PM
i agree with michelle s. i believe that our culture is growing and that people are always going to be uncomfortable with the new things that arise. im not trying to say that “grinding” is totally appropriate, but that it shouldn’t be frowned upon as much as it is. our parents generation was much like ours: finding new ways of doing things, dancing in different ways, etc. i believe that it is the surroundings that we see everyday that make us do what we do. we have gone through different things than our parents, and they have gone through different things that their parents have gone through. the culture is changing, and people should be more flexible.
and i think a dance class would be fun! good thinking greg.
Michelle S • Apr 1, 2009 at 4:18 PM
The problem isn’t our school, it’s our culture. Our whole generation has become so comfortable with all kinds of “closeness” that for us, seeing that kind of thing on the dance floor is no big deal– it’s worth a joke or a derisive comment. Most people, while a little disgusted, aren’t going to be permanently traumatized by seeing people grinding. Hoping for a real change is idealistic at the moment.
S Sharma • Apr 1, 2009 at 2:19 PM
hmm…..i guess so, Jenn. I mean, I’ve heard some crazy things about what happen at cotillions and proms, and those are just disturbing but if SO many people weren’t grinding all at the same time is what I meant in my previous comment.
Jenn Tate • Mar 30, 2009 at 7:24 PM
I would just like to clarify what I meant a little bit. I am perfectly okay with people dancing closely/grinding and having fun. I just wonder where the line is drawn. Some people grind in a way that isn’t awkward for the people nearby, but some are so all over each other that the people in the surrounding area move. I’m asking the readers what you think is or is not appropriate, but i’m certainly not trying to say that I am against close dancing altogether.
Swati Sharma • Mar 26, 2009 at 5:43 PM
I’m glad to see people commenting on this!
I agree highly with this article and would probably actually go to one or two dances if the grinding was kept to the most minimum as possible. I think dances should really just be about dancing yourself or with your friends and not too much about dancing in an awkward way with the opposite gender. Call me orthodox, but it’s just too uncomfortable.
Sean Crater • Mar 25, 2009 at 3:55 PM
Looking at it through my eyes, I usually dance with the less close crowd but do see the larger majority of the dancers doing some “grinding”. I don’t see it as much of a concern to myself. I also heard there was a recent ban in the middle school on grinding and the boys were asked to leave during an assembly and girls were told that the only ones getting fun out of it were the boys. This is also a good point to be noted. I personally don’t see any harm being done by this style of dancing.
kev b • Mar 24, 2009 at 8:53 AM
i think that you should be able to dance however you want. if you dont like it, then don’t go or don’t look at the people dancing like that.
Greg Olson • Mar 23, 2009 at 7:42 PM
Although I certainly enjoy attending school dances, I do agree that they have become quite a scene most parents would not enjoy to see. And I have thought about the points made above before, yet never really seen them put into words. If the lights were turned on and music was shut off, it would just be a bunch of sweaty teenagers getting too close with no sense of actually dancing. Yet there are certain sections of the dance floor, where people do keep their safe distance. But it makes me wonder how my generation will dance at other social events when older, like weddings. High school is all about learning, and maybe learning to dance should be incorporated. I think just a touch of class would do high school dances a lot of good.
Christopher Arienti • Mar 20, 2009 at 4:44 AM
This posting makes a great point; and one we as administrators struggle with constantly. We have tried in the past to enforce a “distance” rule in an effort to make the environment at dances more conducive to social norms. However, the efforts were futile to say the least. The battle was just to great. So, we then attempted to remediate through education… well, you can imagine how well that went. So now, we are faced with what to do about the dancing at high school dances. The last thing we want is for others to feel uncomfortable due to the close contact at the dances. However, the balance between what is acceptable and what is enforceable is blurring more and more by the dance. I would encourage any student to come in and speak with me or Ms. Geary directly in order to discuss this further and maybe figure out a way to balance the indivuduals right to expression, with others right not be offended.